Men and woman often differ in their responses to jealousy. Woman said they would react to the rival’s interference by seeking to improve the relationship; they intended to put on a show of indifference but compete with the rival by making themselves more attractive to their partners. In contrast, men said they would strive to protect their egos; they planned to get drunk, confront and threaten the rival, and pursue other women. Whereas woman seemed to focus on preserving the existing relationship, men consider leaving it and salving their wounded pride with conquest of new partners.

On thing that makes them worrisome is that woman are much more likely than men to try to get their partners jealous (White, 1980a; Miller, 2007). When they induce jealousy - usually by discussing or exaggerating their attraction to other men, sometimes by flirting with or dating them - they typically seek to test the relationship (to see how much he cares) or try to elicit more attention and commitment from their partners (White, 1980a; Miller, 2007). They evidently want their men to respond the way they do when they get jealous, with greater effort to protect and maintain the relationship. The problem, of course, is that’s not the way men typically react. Women who seek to improve their relationships by inducing jealousy in their men may succeed only in driving their partners away.

Reference:

Miller, R., Perlman, D., Brehm, S. (2007). Intimate Relationship 4^th Edition. New York: Mc-Graw Hill.

©dhya

Resolusi 2010:

JADI SARJANA PSIKOLOGI.

©dhya

Menangis itu sehat.

Walaupun sebenarnya saya bingung kenapa saya sampai menangis ’sesegukan’ begini.

udah lama juga gak nangis kaya gini.

kenapa? kenapa? kenapa?

ya, mungkin saya sedang sedih.

ya, mungkin saya sedang marah.

ya, mungkin saya sedang panik.

ya, mungkin saya sedang muak.

ya, mungkin saya sedang cognitive overload.

ya, mungkin saya sedang kesal.

ya, mungkin saya sedang bosan.

ya, mungkin saya sedang bingung.

dan ya. mungkin saya… ah, ini hanya akumulasi.

ayo wid, menangis saja selagi masih bisa menangis.

keluarin semuanya. biar lega

©dhya

…Widya yang punya tujuan.

©dhya

*A tantrum is an emotional outburst of ill humor or a fit of bad temper wherein the ‘higher’ cognitive functions are unable to stop the emotional expression of the putative ‘lower’ (emotional and physical) functions. It can be categorized by an irrational fit of crying, screaming, defiance, angry ranting and a resistance to every attempt at pacification in which even physical control is lost. From a psychological standpoint, there may be several goals to a tantrum, which may or may not be the “reward(s)” that are consciously desired by the person. To many outsiders, these goals may seem irrational, unreasonable, inappropriate, criminal, unethical, immoral, or the work of some spiritual force(s). To people familiar with or trained to recognize the psychological causes of such behavior, however, there are clear emotional, cognitive behavioural and biochemical correlates to tantrums. (wikipedia.com)

©dhya

(Picture taken from here)

RUSSELL: Good afternoon. My name is Russell. And I am a wilderness explorer in tribe 54, Sweat lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?

CARL: No.

RUSSELL: I could help you cross the street

CARL: No.

RUSSELL: I can help you cross your yard.

CARL: No.

RUSSELL: I could help you cross your porch.

CARL: No.

RUSSELL: Well, I gotta help you cross something.

CARL: No, I’m doing fine.

RUSSELL: Good afternoon. My name is Russell. And I am a wilderness explorer in tribe 54. Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today…

(door slams)

RUSSELL: Aww.

—————————————————————————————————————————————

Hey, Russell! Can i keep you??

©dhya

Try Try Try by Jason Mraz

Oh baby we can fight like dogs we can fight like cats
A dirty laundry needs a laundry man
Maybe the king and the queen should lay off the caffeine
Baby breathe before you react

Sometimes we do forget to behave
And we regret what we say
Cause words are too weapons
If we don’t choose’em carefully
Ladies and gentlemen this is instrumental
If life’s to be a bed of roses

I know i gave you everything you like
Because you still give me butterflies

If we just try try try
Just to be ni-ni-nice
Then the world would be a better place for you and I
If we just live our lives
Putting our differences aside
Oh that would be so beautiful to me

Are we just dangling in the middle of a galaxy
Well i’m stoked on gravity
To be stuck with you like flowers on the dew drops
Now let it in my direction
My direction is up when everybody’s down
Cause i don’t mind being anybody’s clown
I love a little lift cause i’m an optimistic
In an altruistic way

Cause basically this place is needing instruments of harmony
Spreading my philosophy of love and inspiration
Oh these words I speak I commit to like a crime
With a rhythm i deliver i’m giving them a picture
Of the reasons why

We should just try try try
Just to be ni-ni-nice
So the world could be a better place for you and I
If we just live our lives
Putting our differences aside
Oh that would be so beautiful to me

Well it wouldn’t cost a penny but could save so many lonely lives
From teary eyes
If we just try try try
To open up a can of understanding open up your heart
I’m just planting seeds
Cause i believe

We could just try try try
Just to be ni-ni-nice
So the world would be a better place for you and I
If we just live our lives
Putting our differences aside
Oh that would be so beautiful to me

If we could try, just to be nice
That could be so beautiful to me
I believe,
Oh that could be so beautiful to me

——————————————————————————————————-

I’ve been playing this song in my playlist for about a week with repeat-one-song-mode.

And suddenly i realize that the song speaks my mind out!

©dhya

Pelajaran hari ini:

1. “Apa yang lo inginkan belum tentu yang lo butuhkan”: akhirnya gue bisa dengan jelas melihat bedanya.
2. Put yourself on someone else’s shoes: So, cheer up wid!
3. Be yourself. And let others be themselves. *well, they’re just being human.*
4. Last but not least, jangan menyerah sebelum berperang!

Ayo Widya SEMANGAT!

©dhya

These things will make me feel better:

Rhum raisin ice cream.

A slice of tiramisu.

Mraz’s songs.

Internet.

Him. Here. Now.

©dhya

Seriously. Now i’m this F.R.E.A.K.I.N.G.O.U.T.

Somebody, HELP ME!

©dhya